Doing Parallel Work With Your Child - The Key To Success

Posted by Alumni Entrada Parent on May 07, 2015

All the promotional points that describe the value of wilderness therapy were meaningful in our daughter’s recovery: simplifying her life down to bare bones for a while, being away from everything, rekindling her love for the outdoors. Through mastery of physical skills she realized how capable she is. She turned the corner to a more authentic life at Entrada.

But there’s another aspect of Evoke’s program that’s as essential as the child’s field experience: Evoke addresses, and supports the family and parents just as seriously and enthusiastically as the excellent therapists and field staff work with our children. I am sure that doing my own work, parallel to my daughter’s, was a key to her success. First, it set a good example, and second, when she realized I was communicating in a different way, the bad patterns were upended. Moreover, with the guidance and encouragement of the program, I maintained – or perhaps regained – my own sanity.

The calls with individual therapists are meaningful, of course, but all our children are going through a similar crisis; it seems to me that the steps and net results are pretty similar, no matter the specifics. Likewise, we parents share similar ups and downs, insecurities, fears. The webinars and parent groups help me better understand the broad strokes of what my child is going through and simultaneously reassure me that we aren’t alone in this process. It’s a community in which we can learn from each other as well as from the professionals who lead the groups.

Whatever diagnosis, behavior pattern, or emotion I might be dealing with, I can tap into a webinar and gain insight. Such a great resource that library is! Brad Reedy’s facility for imparting complex information and discussing emotionally intense concepts in simple, accessible, and even amusing form makes them very easy to watch. He enthusiastically answers every question as if it’s the most important one he’s ever heard. Through the pertinent books and references he shares and the basic communication practices and outlook concepts he espouses I’ve picked up tools and learned skills that I now use every day. It’s literally changed my attitude and approach to pretty much everything.

In the parent groups we can hear each other’s stories. It’s great because there’s so much we don’t have to explain, as all the folks in the room know what we are going through. We can give support to families who have just entered the program, and also remind ourselves of how far we have come. Each meeting I am reminded to take nothing for granted, but to be appreciative of our family’s growth day by day.

The parent workshops are all the supports rolled into one: talk with therapists, discuss particular issues, and meet other parents. For added dimension, the group does more in-depth exercises such as practicing “I feel” statements and other techniques for easier communication. Paul Goddard is a wise man who’s passionate about his work, and I wouldn’t trade for anything the two days a group of parents and I spent working with him, indoors and out, at a workshop in St. George, Utah.

These informative and supportive resources are no less valuable to me today, though my daughter has moved on – she’s doing well in college, post after-treatment. I drive a long way to attend the parent meetings, and appreciate that I can check in to webinars as needed and desired. The perspective I’ve gained while learning to accept my daughter, rough times and all, has not only improved our dynamic but has enriched my life in all its aspects – with family, friends, work. It’s been an intense journey, but I’m a better person for it all. And I’m very grateful for Evoke.