While facilitating family intensives at Evoke Therapy Programs, I ask each family member what they would like to gain from the 4-day workshop. They almost always say the same thing. They want to walk away with tools for a new way of communicating. While I know that not all of our relationship problems can be solved with communication tools, I find that there are some simple skills, which, if followed, begin to change the way we think and relate to others.
When clinicians are being trained in the craft and art of providing therapy, we are taught to be attentive to so many things. Of course we were taught to keep a very high degree of awareness and to be attuned to our clients’ state of being. However, I remember being trained to have awareness of: my posture, tone of voice, the pacing of my words, eye contact, what my hands were doing, my own feelings, moods, and triggers, body sensations, clinical formulations and diagnoses, and of course, personal biases. Now, this may seem like a whole lot to keep track of while attending to someone else… and it is.