The Struggle is Real

Posted by Morgan Robak, CSWA, Therapist at Cascades on February 01, 2016

I worked for 11 months as a field staff before becoming a Wilderness Therapist. As a member of the field staff team, I have memories of the therapists coming into the groups and shaking things up after we developed a rhythm within our group for the week. At the time, I did not understand this approach. Why leave students feeling sad or upset, letting them deal with these feelings on their own?

Now, as a therapist, I understand this approach and strategy behind challenging the students and allowing them to process their feelings. I realized I would be doing the students a disservice if I tried to make them feel better. As a therapist, that is not helpful. Now I let the students sit with the feelings that come up for them while in the wilderness.

Working as a wilderness therapist, I came to my own realization and understanding of the power of allowing the students and their parents to struggle. So many times people want to come in and “fix” the problem or fix the child. Sometimes, parents spend their lives rescuing and not allowing the child to really sit with sadness, or feelings of being alone or upset with something or someone. Struggling is a part of growth and it allows us to understand how to cope and work through these emotions.

In the field, I use the program and the wilderness as tools to create challenges for my students, allowing them to struggle. This allows them to deal with whatever emotions may manifest. I try not to rescue them or save them from these emotions, I try to guide them and help them discover that they are strong enough to get through hard times and build resilience. I do this so when they are out of the “wilderness bubble” they can recognize their feelings and utilize their tools to help them work through the emotions in a positive manner.

Searching for short cuts to make those feelings of anger, sadness, anxiety, fear, hurt and guilt, go away, is an ineffective technique and there is potential to make problems worse. For students, this gives the impression that we, as therapists, will give them the answers and do the work for them. For parents, it gives a message that they can rely on us to rescue them from these emotions. Doing this does not allow the child or parent to develop the skills to work through whatever emotion they are feeling.

The author of The Parallel Process, Krissy Pozatek, wrote an article on “How to raise an Emotionally Resilient Child.” She gives an example of her daughter struggling with feeling worried and not knowing what she was worried about. Instead of trying to make those feelings go away or put words to it, she allowed her daughter to feel worried and let her know it was okay to feel this way; just like feeling happy, she would feel sad, worried and angry too. She allowed her daughter to experience these feelings without being saved, so over time, she was able to cope with feeling worried on her own, not needing her mom to make it all go away.

Students in the wilderness may struggle being on their own in the beginning because they’re experiencing feelings they may not be use to. It can be hard for parents to allow their children to struggle because they care and do not want to see them in pain. That is why wilderness therapy is important. It removes the rescuing component, and implements a challenging and supportive environment for students to go through the process of feeling sad by figuring out what to do about it, on their own.

The wilderness is a great place to struggle and work through those feelings without anyone there to rescue them. It creates a space that does not allow you to avoid what is coming up for you and if you listen, the wilderness has many lessons it can teach you.