Finding Perfect Solitude

Posted by Kathryn Altieri on April 28, 2015

“Go off somewhere and find perfect solitude and look into the perfect emptiness of my mind and be completely neutral from any and all ideas.” - Jack Kerouac

When clients first come out to our field area it is often a scary, confusing or sad time. After some hard work and growth they are ready for one of the more memorable experiences we offer at Evoke. A majority of participants get the opportunity to have a solo, where they spend two days on their own. They get a designated site, often picked for specifically for them, time to themselves for reflection and an assignment of personal reflection.

I have been a field staff for two years at Evoke and have had the chance to give solos 5 times. It is one of my favorite things we do in the field. They usually come unexpected for the participants and feelings of nervousness and excitement accompany the solo opening ceremony. There are metaphors in abundance at the ceremony and last week in the field we talked about how strengthening ourselves individually can then strengthen the group as a whole. The ceremony included separate pathways that come together at the end and seeds to signify growth. For me it is exciting to provide metaphors and meaning to create something clients will always remember and often I will bring metaphors to their sites, explaining why I chose that particular place for them.

The solo experience is an occasion when I gain more respect for our clients. I have done solos on my own before but I have brought books in the past. Our clients spend at least the first day with nothing but themselves and I wonder how I would fare in their position. They persevere and when they finish the solo they come back with incredibly insightful things to say. It is almost like a transformation. This is something that I can even see happening during the solo, this transformation. During rounds when we check on the clients I can often see a new clarity in their eyes and get a sense of happy surrender to the process. When they come back participants seem lighter, like a weight has been lifted, and have a new spark in their eyes. At the closing ceremony, we process the experience and talk about the reflection assignment. It’s incredible and inspiring to hear what kinds of things come up during solos and I have such admiration for the work our clients do.

Now, field staff aren’t just sitting around camp enjoying free time while clients are out on solos. We are making regular rounds to check on them and provide all the standard care. My favorite solo activity is making the gifts we give to each client when they finish. These can be anything from a woven bracelet, wood project, leather pouch or dream catcher. The important thing for me, as with everything else regarding solos, is that the gift is personal. A special, thoughtful gift that clients will have as a keepsake to remember their journey of self- discovery.