8 Suggestions for Perfect Parenting

Posted by Timothy Harrington, Family Recovery Support Specialist, Sandstone Care on May 19, 2016

For many years my passion has been mentoring family members of loved ones struggling with eating disorders, mental illness, and substance misuse. I help them to develop some of the skills necessary to get the best return on their emotional and financial investment, whether their loved one is in pre-hab, some kind of treatment or post-hab. I’m also a potential consumer of the very services that I work around as I’ve been a parent-in-training of two girls for ten years now. Believe me, I’m in this with you, all the way! Since the day my wife Robyn told me we were pregnant I’ve read a lot of parenting books and I’m even writing one myself about the amazing caregivers who have come into my life and allowed me to support them through difficult, confusing, and joyful times. From my unique vantage point, I have narrowed things down to eight very important parenting tips.

Here’s that list, the list I wish someone had given me when I was first becoming a parent. You’re welcome.

1. What do you most want to change about your kid? Good. Now completely let that go.
   
   
2. When you get home from work, don’t grill your kids with questions. Instead, place your hands on their shoulders, look them in the eyes and say, “So nice to see you. I love you.” But not to a fifteen-year-old, because he/she will probably punch you.
   
   
3. As a couple, release all your shoulds. Shoulding yourself is unattractive, not to mention ineffective.
   
   
4. Don’t whisper about your kids; they can hear you.
   
   
5. Don’t be a f**king nag.
   
   
6. Fear of cotton candy is more destructive than just eating cotton candy.
   
   
7. Your kids do not have the same struggles and fears as you; really see them for who they are right now. Connection is the best medicine.
   
   
8. Repeat this mantra as often as needed: “May I forgive my children; may I forgive myself; may I be free from suffering; may I live in peace; may I have sex at least once this month.” It works!

I’d love your feedback. What would you add to the list? What would you take off? What’s your favorite of the 8 and why?