Sacred Circles: Finding Community In Parent Workshops

Posted by Elise Mitchell on January 21, 2015

I remember being so baffled by Chief Saba and his family’s ability to drop everything to spend time with me. He was a man slight in stature but mighty in reputation. The chief of roughly 250 thousand Batongan people of Southern Zimbabwe, faced with starvation, disease and political violence, respected by other tribal leaders but despised by Mugabe, the country’s president. He was humble, soft-spoken, loved an occasional beer and cared deeply about his family. I always felt awkward and self-conscious driving unannounced into his territory knowing that he and his many wives, brothers, and children would stop working in the fields, stop taking care of, what I saw as, the most crucial aspects of life in the harsh, sandy terrain of Kariba just to say hi. I finally asked him once why he was okay with stopping their daily chores to spend hours with me. His reply has haunted me to this day, “We survive because of our connections to each other. Don’t forget that.” These words became a torchlight that guided me, subconsciously, to Second Nature.

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As a field staff, it wasn’t hard to fall in love with Second Nature Entrada. Being a part of Second Nature means that you are an intrinsic part of a deeply connected community… or communities. It starts with fellow staff, back-up, and field directors that you rely on constantly in a multitude of emotional, strategic, logistical ways. Mostly a bunch of well-educated, compassionate, nature-loving, “vagabonds” from around the country, we work together and play together like a patch-work family. But there are many levels of community going on at Second Nature. Every group is a “family” of participants collectively and individually seeking answers to their most important questions, sharing their stories, facing and healing their deepest wounds, and finding self-efficacy and meaning amongst the junipers and their peers. It’s the most exalting and humbling experience to be invited into these circles. We watch kids and adults change from vacant-eyed shells that are done with life in one way or another to vibrant, sun-and-dirt-kissed personalities that can own their choices, speak their truth, and care for one another. Saba’s words resound in our participants’ group experience.
This last weekend I was honored to be a part of yet another powerful circle of people that exists within Second Nature – the parents that come together for our Parent Workshop Weekends. These workshops are designed to bring parents in contact with staff, alumni, and our therapist for adolescent girls, Paul Goddard, to help inform and offer support to current 2N families. This weekend consisted of a small group, 15 of us total. In a two day/ two night experience, I watched perfect strangers, trepidatious and overwhelmed, turn into a community of people sharing deeply and authentically, being humble, and being present with one another.

Taking time out of their busy schedules to join us in St. George, UT, these parents shared not just their fears and frustrations about their child but their stories, their traumas, their hopes. We connected, really connected. I watched a young alumni become the wise sage leading the flock as she shared her insights with us. The parents hung on her every word seeking hope and answers. Sunday morning, sitting on a sandstone ledge overlooking Snow Canyon State Park, we explored The Wellness Cycle. One mother shared a part of her past that she had only shared with her husband and counselors before that moment standing in the sun, beautifully and courageously against the red rocks. Everyone shared something vulnerable and real with each other. Later that day, I called a group to express my excitement for busting fire (something I had not accomplished successfully since a near-fatal accident in 2012). Some of the parents looked a little confused by my giddy display. Staff and former students implicitly understood the importance of that moment for me. Regardless, they all stood there, listening and doing their best to reflect my check-in. Standing in that circle, I felt my heart pulled by the stories and the tough journey these folks are on with their sons and daughters and yet, here they were, holding space for this strange nature girl bursting with pride having rubbed two sticks together. Ah, community.

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As we closed the workshop Sunday night, I spoke with one father who was passionate about Al-Anon and was pursuing a business venture to bring more awareness for such groups. His fervor struck a kindred chord in me. He commented on how important and powerful it is to be a part of “sacred circles” and that we should honor not judge nor shy away from opportunities to connect. We agreed that our society could do better to look at experiences like Second Nature as sacred and essential to evolving our humanity, not isolated pockets for downtrodden outliers. Without the opportunity to be in a sacred circle this weekend, how many of these parents might still be feeling overwhelmed and alone? Without the opportunity to face their insecurities and traumas in a safe environment with each other, how many of our clients and students would still be floundering in their depression, anxiety, drug abuse, or worse? I witness the truth of this father’s and Saba’s words often – we do survive only because we connect to each other.

From the clinking of glasses, laughter, and witty remarks being passed around the dinner table Sunday night, I knew that Saba’s wisdom was not lost on this group of parents nor me. I’m confident that the parents present for our workshop can sleep a little easier knowing they are not alone and that their journey is illuminated by many torches held by others on the same path. I’m honored to have shared in the experiences of this weekend’s workshop and look forward to helping form new sacred circles with future Second Nature families.

Elise Mitchell is the Health and Wellness Coordinator for Second Nature Entrada. To learn more about Second Nature for Adults contact one of our admissions counselors.

Comments

Thank you, Elise, for so beautifully describing the experience of Second Nature – of the powerful young people who may have lost their way for a time and struggle in an oppressive darkness, of the parents who are so diligently seeking light to help their child find a way forward.
I remain in awe of the care and dedication of my fellow employees, and also of the parents who entrust their precious ones to our care. And perhaps even more, I hope to honor the strength and courage of the young people in our midst who find a way to open their aching hearts and troubled minds to the journey that is Second Nature.

Posted by Paul Goddard

Thank you, Paul. We are beyond fortunate to have the opportunity to witness the interconnectedness of parents, staff, clients and students trying to find the roots of suffering and the seeds of transformation. It has been one of the most soulful experiences in my life to witness the sacrifice and dedication of parents and Second Nature staff and therapists to work toward the health and well-being of these kids. From these experiences, I do sincerely believe it does take a village to raise a child. Thanks for your comment Paul!

Posted by Elise Mitchell

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